It was a fateful day. It started everything. I guess I won’t forget it even if I try.
It was the time I knew you. It was the time I knew that we both have the same interests, the same beliefs, although we’re different in some way: something that transcends our humanity. After some time I realized: you’re probably the one I was waiting for the whole time; the one I longed for, ever since I came into this world; the girl that would make me smile for the rest of my life; the friend that would remind me that I’m still on the same ground as other people; the person that would make me realize that I’m still alive.
The times that we’re together were the best. We can talk all day if we wanted to. You’re just too amusing to talk to. We never run out of stuff to talk about. You get along well with my friends too. They really like you, you know? They say the same thing that I usually tell you: you’re one of a kind. Few, no, we might not see someone like you wherever we might go.
But whatever we say or do, there are things that we can’t have even if we give our best. There are things that are there just to remind us that we can’t have it. Things that we long for, things that are perfect in our sight, things that defined us: sometimes even if we give it our best shot, even if we press very hard, it just won’t fit. It really sucks. But we have to accept it whether we like it or not. Reality would slap us in the face really hard, and we can’t do anything about it.
I am someone that is aware of my potentials but doesn’t give a damn; someone that can do anything but chooses not to; someone that prefers to slack off rather than to hone his talents. You remind me of this harsh reality: the reality that I’ve wasted my time on top of my tower, looking down on other people, thinking that they have to give their very best just to reach my level, when in fact they’re way better in the first place because they give their best.
Unknowingly, you taught me that whatever the case may be, I should give my best in everything I do. You taught me that whatever I’m experiencing, no matter how severe, everything will be alright as long as I do my best and keep on smiling.
I wish the fantasy didn’t end. I wish I can keep on dreaming. It was great that we can be together even if it’s just on my thoughts. The ecstasy it gives me fuels me. It’s where I get all my inspiration. Yes, I know, I’m only deceiving myself. But I can stay in an immaterial world if I can be with you.
Reality only brings about pain. But it reminds me that I’m still alive, and like any other failure, one has to move on. Perhaps it’s not a real failure after all. You taught me a lot of things. It was my honor to know you. Probably I won’t be able to forget about everything. But one thing’s for sure. The good times that we’re together would bring happiness to me wherever I go, whenever I remember them.
I might find someone that is willing to be with me for the rest of my life. The sad fact is that that one might not be you. But always remember this. Even if I would settle for another, I won’t stop caring. Call me if you need help. I’ll be watching you.
Bien is a software engineer for more than 10 years, focusing on Microsoft .NET technology. He developed solutions ranging from embedded systems to accounting systems. He spends his free time trying to understand the world and its people.